Once I became a mother, I discovered that it took at least 9-10 hours per day to nurse ,burpe, soothe, change and bathe a completely dependant tiny person and washing clothes (the baby’s as well as mine which were often blasted with spit up and other nasty surprises). I struggled to scrub floors daily because babies and toddlers LIVE on the floor and keep bathrooms and kitchens reasonably sanatized.
At first I tried to do everything around the house that I had done before I became a mother but even acrobatic, multitaskers are forced to be reasonable. I finally capitulated and grudgingly accepted the fact that what was essential was clean clothes, clean little bodies, clean kitchen and bathrooms–period. Most anything else I liked to keep up was for status, keeping up with fashions or trying to give visitors a good impression. Sometimes I had to give myself a good shake and let go of an impossible standard and remind myself that a peaceful, centred mom has peaceful and happy kids.
Two things helped me put everything into perspective:
1. If I cleaned my house everyday for two weeks at the end of that time period, my house would be clean.
If I cleaned my house once a week for two weeks, at the end of the experiment, my house would be clean.
And what if I cleaned my house only once, at the end of the two weeks?
My house would be just as clean as if I had done it everyday. It might take a bit longer is all.
This new way of viewing housework lifted a whole burden of guilt off my shoulders.
2. The second trick was learning how to juggle while balancing on a beam.
One acrobatic trick to is the ability to run on two different gears, slow and patient and fast and furious.
Fast and furious is for the moments when little ones are sleeping .
Slow and patient is best for ANYTHING to do with little kids. If you try to rush them, they dig in their heels, become antagonistic and angry. Trust me. Slow and patient gets better results because everyone is calm. I tried to let toddlers fumble and try to do things on their own. In the end, even if they look a little odd, they felt proud and become more and more independent. Sometimes a kid wore checked pants with a polka dot top but they did it on their own!
Little people’s happiness and self growth are more important than what outsiders` think about our homes or their appearance.I don’t want to die and find out my priorities were all wrong, that I chose public approval over love.
mother of nine9 