Trading Places?: You Must be Joking!


Daily Prompt: Trading Places

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex for a day? What do you think life would be like?

Just when I finally quit trying to be more like my logical husband, someone asks this ridiculous question. Finally I have embraced that I am a woman who is an intuitive, creative, feeling, perceptive person who is a circular thinker. I am content to drive my husband crazy.

Viva la difference.

When I was little, I thought that boys were loud and generally obnoxious.  Harsh, I know, but all their testosterone driven aggression and rough play was so foreign to my own temperament, that I considered them to be practically an alien race of beings. I have never wanted to morph into a boy or man because being female is an intrinsic part of who I am.

So, please, do not try to tell me that little boys and men are just socially conditioned to behave in a different way than little girls or women. I loudly declare that, even as babies, little boys are intrinsically different from little girls and I celebrate that difference with joy. The fact is that the differences between the sexes is an example of nature  not  nurture.

Since I grew up with only one sister, my boys constantly surprised me. As toddlers, my three sons would stare at wheels turning as they ran toy cars back and forth again and again, totally engaged in this repetitious action. I simply watched with my mouth hanging open. It was an inborn obsession that developed into any machine that had wheels. Tricycles, bicycles, wagons, lawn tractors, cars and trucks were not only driven but also examined in minute detail. The boys turned bikes upside down to check wheels, fill tires and fiddle with the gears. Even more hours went by with my sons’ heads stuck under the hood of a car. My boys also seemed born with the ability to drive anything with an engine. While the girls struggled to learn how to drive cars (just ask their frustrated father), the boys learned effortlessly.

I did try to draw out the ‘feminine’ side of my boys. For example, one day Matthew was about four or five and he asked for his sister’s water proof doll.  I was so pleased. I thought,

“Yes! I have raised a son with nurturing instincts!”

When I came back into the bathroom a few minutes later, the head was off the doll and he was holding the rubber tubing connecting the doll’s mouth to its bottom. Matthew was making loud machine noises as he lowered the head into the water, filled it, slowly lifted his self-made swinging bucket and then swung the head around like a crane, pouring water into a plastic pail. Matthew’s actions startled me. I started to laugh at my son, my efforts to change him and this whole nature versus nurture controversy.

I celebrate the glorious difference between men and women, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. The world would be a better place if women were allowed to help lead business and political spheres without taking on ‘masculine’ characteristics. The world would be kinder and more compassionate.

Viva la difference.

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38 thoughts on “Trading Places?: You Must be Joking!

      1. and I have just added you- I like your comments on my post because it seems that you have a sense of humour! Your blog, title and subtitle, as well as this post and avatar are all intriguing

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      2. Thanks…the avatar was originally linked with the photography blog I have and when I started a written blog it stayed the same.

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      3. LOL! I also embrace being female. Even when I had boys people who knew me were astounded saying “I can’t believe you have boys!” But as always, God know what He is doing and they have been an incredible blessing. When I was little though I used to think that if I ever had a boy baby I would give it to my sister! Isn’t that horrible!? I just could’t fathom it, now I can;t fathom not having them!

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      1. I got to this show a little late. Eh.

        I was on the cutting edge years ago Friendster, MySpace, and then even Facebook. I was let down by Instagram and left lacking with Tumblr.

        I enjoy meeting new people. I am the guy on the train talking to the total stranger… I still have friends, dear friends from those casual conversations struck while the bus or train rumbles through a city or countryside.

        It is amazing how much in common strangers have and how little we judge each other.

        I am horrible at writing, but I make my way. Sometimes I entertain others and sometimes, more often than not, I entertain myself. I am my best audience.

        I thank you for stopping by my little outpost here on this hectic and vertigo-inducing superhighway and leaving me notes and smiles.

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    1. It seems that you two are also getting on very well here.

      By the way, many complex gender trait and differences are attributable to both nature and nurture. Moreover, there can be a high degree of overlapping.

      Some anthropologists, human behaviourists and psychologists have come to recognize through extensive research that androgyny (in which an individual can exhibit, learn, exercise, interact and/or experience in/via both masculine and feminine ways) allows any human beings to be most adaptive, communicative and empathetic, whilst being able to tap into a wider range of emotions, activities, spheres and influences with greater ease, understanding and commitment. Androgynous parents also tend to have the healthiest (in all the meanings of the word) children.

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      1. In India, those who are intersexed (or called “the third sex”) are highly respected. In the West, they are forced into gender re-assignment by doctors and/or parents.

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  1. I was what they call a “tomboy” as a kid, meaning I liked working on cars with my Father and Grandfather’s, went shooting with them, LOVED going to the races, BUT, I did it all in dresses and pretty shoes. And I agree with you, boys and girls are just different, even if some lines gets blurred and crossed, a girl still thinks as a female and a boy still thinks as a male. Natures way. 🙂

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  2. The experiences I’ve already had with my boys leads me to the same conclusion. We are different and it’s something to be celebrated, not changed. I don’t understand why there’s such an effort to make women like men. We’re not and we never well be and we shouldn’t have to be. I’m proud to be a woman and, though I’ve often wished to break into the “boys club” at my old company, I never wished to be viewed or treated as a man :). I loved your thoughts as always!

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