Holding a crumbling paradigm together is an exercise in futility
One of my inner images which describes my struggle to surrender control is of a wagon wheel.
This wheel is suspended over a deep chasm,
My large family of 10 is on the rim of a wagon wheel hovering over this chasm,
while I stand on the hub,
frantically turning this way and that
to hold all the broken spokes together.
I KNOW that I must let go of this futile sense of responsibility and control
I am afraid to stop.
I am trapped.
Yet, I realize that
my tension prevents natural, organic growth and healing.
My control acts like a wall, shutting out all divine intervention.
My sincere concern and earnest self-sacrifice actually magnifies everyone’s brokenness,
freezing everyone and everything.
When I finally do surrender control,
the broken spokes are instantly repaired.
The kids and my husband are smiling and healed.
I am free.
It simply took a decade.