Exhausted? Feeling stretched, even overwhelmed? Does it seem that everyone looks to you to get things done? When we refuse to let go of control, we are like a queen at the centre of our universe where everything and everybody depends on us. Trust me, it is more about our attitude than the real activities we perform. I am the mother of nine, so I was extremely busy but when my attitude changed, a big burden lifted off my shoulders, even though my body was just as busy.
Clearly, I am living in a fantasy when I see myself as the center of the universe, viewing everything as it circles around me. Yet, this is exactly how most of us operate. My whole psychological make-up screams that I am the centre of my world because I view people, events, history through my eyes, judging what is right, trusting my thoughts and my feelings as the final judge of what is real. When I am at the centre of my universe, I am queen.
In my pride, I cling tenaciously to my throne and crown. Only when I was completely depleted and shattered, only then did I resign and give God back His job. Only then did I surrender an ego centric point of view and embraced reality that God is at the centre of the universe. What a difference when I did let go. I could stop, look up and enjoy the sunset, even if only for a moment and be filled with joy.
When I finally see beauty everywhere, I experience joy and a sense of connection because my eyes are not on myself. The truth is that I am simply part of the universe. Everything does not depend on me. I am free to relax and enjoy the beauty of nature and the Spirit of God which permeates all when I am in the right place in the scheme of things. It just took decades to finally understand .
Definitely absurd but I only saw this fact after I surrendered and let go of control. I cannot find what is really important in life in self-created delusions but I can discover truth as I learn to live in harmony with a bigger universe than the one I create.
After I gave up my crown, I still had just as much work to do but everything no longer depended on me. An inner tension was released somehow. Simply put, when I got off the throne, had a lot more energy and fun.