Even though it is bitterly cold outside, my heart is burning with fervor and my thoughts are leaping for joy because at 58 years old, I am in the springtime of a new life. It doesn’t matter that it is freezing outside; inside it is warm by the wood stove. I am coming back to life. For the first time in 33 years all my kids have basically moved out and I am free to write.
My body has not yet adjusted because the body remembers the tension and stress of running a household of eleven people.. My body has not quite caught up to this new reality because as the mother of nine, I was always on call. My ears are trained, listening for the sounds of my children playing, working and sleeping , always ready to soothe or help.
The result is that I am still tense, rushing to squeeze in some time to write when in fact, God has graciously handed me hours of the day where I am free. I am free to write, pray, even relax and enjoy the acres of land the surround our old house.
The subconscious too needs time to unwind long after the conscious mind has grappled with the past, let go of memories and forgiven. Then there are the pre-verbal, non-verbal parts of my soul that cannot be cajoled into coming out of their cave. Any sign of control or manipulation sends them scurrying back into hiding; they take the longest to warm up in the light and warmth of the truth.
Although I have not yet adjusted to solitude and free time, I am thankful for this new freedom to start to write again. The walls of ice which imprisoned my writing skills are thawing out. It might be -28 C outside with almost 50 cm of snow but in the study, the wood-stove is burning.
Yep, my heart is burning with fervor and my thoughts are leaping for joy.
Awesome! Time all for you and God. Hand in hand. Love the children as blessings but appreciate your new “me time!”
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nicely put 🙂
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Marvelously expressed and experienced, yes? love it
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yes!
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Seriously – after working my way through your archives, I really think you need to take a “tamrah vacation” – which goes like this:
Prep:
Pick the number of days and mark them on the calendar –
Lay in or prepare ready-to-heat/eat meals for the days picked.
Inform everyone you are MIA till further notice
Launch –
Day One – Wake up – Do whatever you want
Day Two – Repeat Day One
Last Day of Vacation – Is announced whenever you are ready
🙂
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Did you know i write a second blog everyday + post columns!!!
http://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/
writing is a real joy, stuff just keeps pouring out of me..but I do want to focus on my book- right now it is just collections of stories in eight chapeters or else 8 mini ebooks of 6,000, 7,000 words
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Sigh – thanks – I’m never going to get caught up!
ROFL
😀
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you are a star reader already
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Awww – thanks – – I’ve been up to my arse in various alligators and have SO been not-a-good-WordPress-buddy for months now – Thanks for not minding all the comments/likes all in a row as I get caught up! 🙂
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are you kidding.. as of right now, you are my biggest fan/friend EVER. ummm I will create a Blog Buddy Button for you. We will start a new trend, a new award. This gives me the motivation to complete the blogging award someone gave me ( did not accept any for 6 months)
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I’m truly LOLing – I’ve carried a secret guilt/stress over my WordPress absentism these past few weeks – and I still have sitting in my drafts folder the new post/artwork for “You Inspired Me” – – basically, more than a reblog, without the need to ‘fulfill’ award duties – just say how another blogger/post inspired you, link, offer the artwork and Walla! DONE for both! 🙂
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sounds like the perfect award I would love to pass that one around
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Hopefully will be getting posted this week – –
Dearheart – have absolutely LOVED connecting with you again – but logging off to eat supper and finish book for book club this week – didn’t make it through all your archives, but hoping things are getting handled and will be able to WordPress daily again this coming week! Take Care! LUB (luv ya bunches)
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you have run a marathon- thank-you for all the affirmation
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