It really is such a simple and obvious emotional and spiritual dynamic but one that most of us are oblivious to.
For some pragmatic types, this concept might seem ridiculous but as I watched, listened and prayed with a daughter conceived after my miscarriage, it became crystal clear. A Catholic psychiatrist helped us discover that this truth was at the root of her sadness and heaviness. The death of my unborn infant during my seventh pregnancy changed the atmosphere of my womb. In a sense, because I was ignorant, my womb was still a dark place filled with the lingering shadows of death. A dramatic symbol would be that my womb was like a tomb for my next pregnancy which was Grace.
However what made the situation even worse, was that we both almost died during this 8th pregnancy. My placenta tore, leaving a huge clot from the top of my womb to the bottom . The doctor ordered bed rest for 6 months. When I complained that I felt perfectly fine, my doctor explained that a similar situation had not occurred two years earlier, with a mother of five loosing her child and almost dying herself. The doctor had to call in the Archbishop to convince the mother that her other children needed her and to let her unborn baby die.
Grace and I froze, only Grace stayed frozen, filled with fear of moving and guilt – feeling guilty that she had almost killed me. Typically, like all children she felt she was to blame. This weighed on her deep in her subconscious for twenty years till it popped up unexpectedly during family counselling and spiritual direction. Jesus set that baby free with a snap of His fingers. The changes in this young adult are unfolding slowly but miraculously because once the root is healed, emotional and spiritual growth takes on a life of its own, with God in charge behind the scenes.
God started to set that baby free with a snap of His fingers. The changes in this young adult are unfolding slowly but miraculously because once the root is healed, emotional and spiritual growth takes on a life of its own.