“This is my call, this is my vocation, this is my witness to the world.”
After the birth of our fourth child, Michael and I struggled to understand exactly how we were meant to live our lives. We were discussing an article by an author whose main premise was that letting go of control and trusting in God was not some abstract principle but a day-to-day practical call that included the surrender of our fertility. Of course we practised natural family planning but I was one of those rare people who could conceive long before ovulation.
As my doctor said once, “Ah, I remember reading about a woman in New Zealand, two years ago, who conceived five days before ovulation.”

I raised my hand and chirped, “Well, you can add me to that list!”
Although we could not imagine how large our family would become, the words of that article resonated within both my husband and I. Guilt lifted off us and a surge of excitement, a sense of purpose welled up from within. Although it took time to really believe that none of our children were simply a failure of the natural family planning method. Many small experiences kept reinforcing the truth the for us that God called each of our children into being with our co-operation. We’d stumbled blindly at times and then a burst of clarity would shine light on our purpose.
For example, twenty-five years ago, I once again slipped into panic mode, worrying if I was pregnant with my fifth child. Suddenly a wave of peace enveloped me and my whole body relaxed.
I heard these words within me,
“This is your call. This is your vocation. This is your witness to the world.”
All sorts of objections rushed into my head,
” What on earth do you mean a witness, a witness to what?- stupidityy?People don’t understand. They just think we are irresponsible or idiots……”
Then unexpected joy bubbled within me and I sensed these words in my spirit, “I am with you.”
Once again a blanket of peace wrapped like a blanket around me. It was an actual physical sensation and I was at peace, my mind calm and my spirit felt strong.
That was it for me; I understood and I said “yes”.
Though I still cringed under disapproval from society, I always understood that my children were saving me by compelling me to dive deeper into my spirit. They challenged me to dig deeper, discovering the power of eternal Love at my very core. A love that can stand strong against all opposition.
What a beautiful tribute to motherhood! You are nine times blessed and more!
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You and Michael are as proud as the Johnston family of 11 featured! Two grace-filled families which answered their call and their destiny.
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What a beautiful read. So often many forget that children are gifts from heaven, and to refuse even one gift, is to hurt the Giver who Loves. I’m so glad you made place for each one – in your home and in your heart, because now that gives you voice and the right to tell everyone to Choose Life, because you did too!
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smiling- you are an encourager- thank you
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