Relationships are messy.This article might seem detached but it is my response to a daughter who is going through a crisis . We are in agony because our fierce love seems like a noodle arrow which cannot pierce through to her heart. This is hardly an unique situation. Often we do not fully grasp what is best for our husbands, children or parents Often our way of loving misses their hearts completely. Some people crave touch, others need to hear love articulated. Still others think talk is cheap and anyone can hug but only feel love when it is put in action or they receive gifts. Even understanding the four languages of love does not make us much more effective because relationships cannot be explained in neat, tidy boxes. Life is messy. Life is a conundrum.
People have depths and layers to their personalities that will surprise us for as long as we are both alive. This mystery is sometimes a wonder and delight and at others times utterly frustrating. We want to understand, often so we feel in control but control eludes us.
Have you seen the movie, A River Runs Through It? There is a profound message in the father’s last sermon, which describes how we do not know how to really love those closest to us.
It seems to me the desire to love and support and protect your daughter is felt by her even if she doesn’t show it. I hope she overcomes her crisis.
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looks like we commented at exactly the same time- yeas, I trust that this just needs time because of who she really is at her core
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I go through this all the time, wondering how to support my husband when he is depressed and doesn’t really engage with me at all.
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I also am in the same situation!
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Ouch. The adult children worries and heartache. I am sorry for your pain. Motherhood…
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yup but this is a process of her inner healing and it is always messy before their is growth
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You are so…clever. That is the truth but still hard to see a child go through it.
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oops not clever enough to spell there correctly
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Didn’t notice but now I am telling everybody!
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snort..grin.. I knew I liked your humour
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I like you, Melanie! You are a dear soul!
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now I am in tears thank-you, I do not always feel dear
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I LOVE that sermon from the movie! And the quote – – 🙂
Still, heartbroken you are going through your particular brand of this at this time – –
I really liked the book, The 5 Love Languages – here’s the link, for those who haven’t read it
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
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oh.. I thought it was 4..thanks
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🙂
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Gifts
Quality Time
Am currently striving for ‘balance’ in my own love languages, but I’m stuck in the top 3 of Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation!
LOL
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